The Double Cheese Crunch Adventure

Once upon a time, a month ago, three boys were sittin in a room with not much to do. Two of them, Mary and Juana(real names withheld for no particular reason), were stoners. The third, Manthan(that's the real name), was a sweet, innocent guy who didn't even smoke cigarettes but took in a lot of passive smoke and didn't seem to mind it. This is the story of what happened that fateful afternoon.

Mary and Juana had just got back from class and were really bored. It was too early to go and play, so they decided to just hang out in Juana's room. Juana was a regular stoner while Mary just smoked up occasionally. In came Manthan and he too had nothing to do. As Juana rolled a joint, the three just talked in general. Manthan was often an entertaining guy in his own way. This gave the stoners great joy as they had readymade material to laugh about.

Now if you do weed you must know what the "munchies" are. If you don't, well the munchies refers to the exceptionally undeniable craving for food, often a particular kind of food, after smoking marijuana. Now Mary didn't really like eating but he decided that today he must eat to his heart's content. Juana ate all the time but even more so when the munchies kicked in. But the interesting part was that Manthan, who doesn't smoke up, always seemed to suffer from the munchies more than anyone else. He talked about food as though he hadn't seen any in a month, when infact in most cases he had eaten 10 minutes earlier. He often gave the impression that food was to him, what sex is to normal guys.

So as they discussed what they should order, and made fun of Manthan, the Dominoes menu got their attention. They were really hungry now and Manthan went on about how they should all go out and eat. He liked to enjoy his eating experiences in good locations with exquisite ambience while the stoners just wanted to eat. As mentioned earlier, to Manthan food was like sex...this was probably his version of a "date" with food. Or maybe it was foreplay. The stoners convinced him to order in and after 5 minutes of painful expressions and sounds, Manthan gave in.

Now they had to decide what to order, and this is where Manthan gave the most beautiful speech ever....about food ofcourse. The stoners found this hilarious because the only guy who doesn't smoke up seemed to be suffering the most from the munchies. They listened carefully as Manthan intricately described "THE DOUBLE CHEESE CRUNCH PIZZA" with possible sexual connotations. The following is a summary of the famous speech:

"The double cheese crunch pizza is awezomee. See let me exblain. The crust has cheese in it and above that there's the topping....yanyyyyy topping of yanyyyy pizza you want....chiggen, pepperoni, barbegue yanythinggg. Above that topping there's moreee cheese, but its not the normal cheese....no no. It's this melted cheese dripppinggg zmooothly down the thin crizpy crust. mmmmmmmmm. Its simblyyy beautiful....the way they make it...you will easssily finish one whole pizza yourself. And you'll want more...."

(Manthan is South Indian)

After hearing this, Mary and Juana just couldn't stop picturing that beautiful picture Manthan had painted in their minds. They were seduced by The Double Cheese Crunch Pizza(DCCP). Unfortunately they just couldn;t afford it at the time. It broke their hearts like no woman ever could. They finally ordered some other pizzas from Dominoes but it just didn't feel the same....the Double Cheese Crunch Pizza could not be replaced.

So the next day, once again on the munchies, Mary decided he just had to have the elusive DCCP. He had just enough money and he wanted to enjoy it all by himself. He excitedly picked up his phone, called dominoes and ordered the DCCP. The person who was taking the order asked Mary if he wanted extra cheese and that it would be Rs. 40. Money was the last thing on Mary's mind right now and he said "yes" without a semblance of hesitation. It was all about the pizza....nothing more, nothing less. He just couldn't wait for it to arrive. These were the slowest 30 minutes of his life. He sat there twiddling his thumbs and just staring at his computer waiting....waiting in anticipation for the pizza of his dreams.

When he finally got a call from Dominoes to come out of his room to pick up the pizza, he couldn't hide the excitement in his voice as he said "sure!! I'll be out in a minute!!" He quickly paid the delivery boy and went into his room, locking it shut so that no one could disturb him from the most beautiful meal of his life. Mary sat down and slowly opened the box as if it were a treasure chest. There it was, glowing like the reflection of the bright sun on the sea. There it was, looking as enchanting as the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. There it was, The Double Cheese Crunch Pizza.

He carefully lifted a piece. He slowly moved it in the direction of his mouth because he wanted to cherish this moment forever, and not destroy it due to any haste. Slowly, steadily, he moved it closer to his mouth. As his mouth watered in anticipation, he finally took a bite of the scrumptious, heavenly pizza with melted cheese dripping all over it. And then he realized something. He HATES CHEESE.

He FUCKING HATES CHEESE.